Marie Niles

I never thought it could be me.

From the time I was a child, life demanded resilience. I grew up in Detroit with a drug-addicted mother, and by the age of 14, I was on my own. Survival was my only option, and through sheer determination I managed to rise above the circumstances that could have easily defined me. I broke generational curses, I built a career, and I created a life for my children that looked nothing like the one I had been handed.

But life has a way of testing strength again and again. In 2020, I experienced a heartbreak that no parent should ever have to endure—the loss of my oldest son. His passing brought me to my knees, yet it was the military community and groups like Gold Star Mothers that helped me find the strength to stand back up. They reminded me that grief could coexist with purpose, and that love never dies.

Then, at 49 years old, another challenge found me: an HIV diagnosis. Those three letters shook me to my core. I had already survived so much, but this was a new kind of storm. I knew the path to becoming undetectable would not be simple, especially with my complicated cardiac history. I also knew that continuing my work as a surgical first assistant—though it was a career I excelled in—would put others at risk. It was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made, but I chose to walk away from surgery to protect those around me. Sometimes courage means letting go of what you love in order to honor your integrity.

During that time of transition, I leaned into honesty. I shared my diagnosis with a longtime friend, someone I trusted deeply. Instead of fear or rejection, I was met with compassion and love. That love grew into something greater, and on April 1st of this year, we were married. What could have been an ending instead became a new beginning.

Together, we have turned our journey into purpose. We founded Bee Hiv+, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit focused on HIV awareness—especially in the heterosexual middle- to upper-class community, where conversations about HIV are often silent or stigmatized. Our mission is to educate, to normalize dialogue, and to create a safe space for people to learn, ask questions, and support one another without judgment.

My story is far from over. If anything, I believe God continues to write new chapters in my life so that I can serve as a voice for others who may be afraid, ashamed, or unsure of how to move forward. HIV does not define me—it has only refined my purpose. I am a mother, a wife, a survivor, and now an advocate. My hope is that through Bee Hiv+, others will see that there is life after diagnosis, there is love after disclosure, and there is always purpose after pain.